147 days
by Madamethebloody
Summary: Buffy comes back from the grave...a little different than before. AU season 6
1. Prologue

**Author's note: **AU season 6, where apparently Angel kept the Gem of Amarra and just gave it to Spike? Just go with it. I'll update really quickly, hope you like!

He awoke. 148 days today. 148 days since the sun broke night and he watched her lifeless body crumple to the ground. 148 days since she was forced to give her life to protect her sister, his little bit. 148 days since he failed her. 148 days since his last shred of hope at happiness died. He would have ended himself, should have been dusted after her body was buried. But there was the Nibblet. Her mum dead, and then her sister, she had no one left. Giles wanted to be the one to take care of Dawn, but he wasn't going to let Spike anywhere near them. He went back to England after Dawn declared she'd rather live with Spike than the watcher. Granted, she hadn't seen him for a week after Buffy's funeral. The Scoobies didn't say it, but they blamed Dawm for Buffy's death. They were going to send her off to live with some aunt, but she cried and screamed and threatened to kill herself. It had been Glinda's idea for her and Red to move into Revello Drive, but Dawnie wouldn't have any of it. She had demanded that Spike move in with her. More like cried and begged rather than demanded, so how could he say no? The soddin' Scoobies had been furious, but Dawn had told them they had no power over her. The move all happened in a blur. Red forged up the documents, making him, William Blackwell, Dawn Summer's legal guardian. He moved in, planning on staying in the basement, but the Bit didn't like staying upstairs alone, and he didn't want to change Joyce's room, so he ended up in Buffy's. He didn't change a thing. The *smell*… she could have been alive. But she wasn't.

Dawn was worried about Spike, terrified he'd be too reckless, and terrified of losing the only thing she had left. So she called up Angel and demanded the Gem of Amarra. He only sent it because the shock of Buffy's death left him thinking fuzzy. The Scoobies went berserk, but there really wasn't anything they could do about it. Spike said he wasn't worthy, Buffy had sent it to Angel for a reason, but Dawn insisted. She knew he was a different person than he had been. It was better this way, going out during the day, better to fulfill his guardian duties. Plus, he had odd jobs he'd do, needed to pay bills and Buffy's student loans, buy food and blood.

Neither of them was dealing well. Dawn had to see a grief counselor because of the deaths and someone from social services about her new guardian. She had to lie to both of them about everything. At least it kept her pretty busy. But for dealing with the grief, her and Spike only had each other. The only Scooby they ever really talked to was Tara. She visited once or twice a week. Willow never knew. She'd talk to Dawn, teach her magic, and watch movies. She talked to Spike too. They really didn't mind each other, and her and Dawn were very close.

Spike had never cried so much in his life. He'd given up acting like the Big Bad that day at the tower. Dawn went from bouts of depression and apathy to fits of violent rage. She knew the Scoobies blamed her, but they acted so fake. She really hated them. They of course placed all blame for everything they could think up on Spike, but he was so indifferent towards them that they eventually gave it up. Spike taught Dawn to fight to deal with her emotions. He learned to cook, like Joyce used to, hoping to make things slightly more normal. They were healing. School would start again soon, so they talked of moving. Where would the go? They really didn't belong anywhere.

It was 148 days today. Spike was not okay. Dawn was not okay. But they were breathing. Healing. Trying. They watched Passions. He made spicy pizza for dinner. They talked about moving out around San Diego, out on the beach. They didn't know Buffy had only been dead for 147 days.


	2. Chapter 1

Willow's body convulsed violently and an enormous snake slithered from her mouth. She was still being tested. Anya, Xander, and Tara watched in horror. They were interrupted as a rather nasty looking demon stumbled into their midst, crushing the urn of Osiris. All their hopes, the last chance of getting Buffy back, shattered. Willow howled with grief, casting a spell that encased the demon in a gulf of fire, before collapsing onto the ground in pain.

"On the brightside, we don't need to worry about zombies now." Said Anya's perky voice as Tara and Xander picked Willow up and headed back to the Magic Box. When Giles had left, he gave Anya control over the magic shop.

She was happy, at peace. Finally, resting, no pain, no fear, no doubt. And she was pulled out, expelled, thrown into the darkness.

Her eyes flashed open. Why was it so dark? She tried to lift her arms, but she wasn't able to move much. She was lying flat, and she had no room. She couldn't breathe.

In a coffin.

Six feet underground.

Frantic, desperate, tearing through the silk, wood, fingers digging through the dirt. So much dirt, up to the surface.

Back into Hell.

She struggled upright, turned, and saw her tombstone:

_Buffy Anne Summers_

_1980-2000_

_Beloved sister, friend, daughter_

_She saved the world_

_A lot_

She turned from the sight, couldn't look, couldn't think, and stumbled into the night.

They were on the couch, him and the Nibblet, she had fallen asleep during the dopey Hallmark movie they had on. Suddenly there was a noise, a thump on the porch, and it shook Dawn awake. That smell, he knew that smell. The smell that coated the room upstairs where he slept. But it was…alive. He couldn't move, fearing it was just another dream, a mind trick. The smell was just so, _so real_. Dawn stood; not noticing the shock on Spike's face, and went into the hall to look out the door. And then she screamed.


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's note: **sorry for the delay all, I'll usually update faster than this.

1640 Revello Drive. She came here subconsciously, on auto-pilot, wandering through Hell, everything too bright or too dark, too loud or too quiet, too real, too much. She felt too much pain, too much fear, too much confusion. Too much hatred as she began to realize what had been done to her. She stumbled up the steps of what had been her home, collapsing on the porch with a thump. She looked at her hands as if for the first time, seeing the bleeding skin and broken nails. She heard commotion inside, someone moving to the door, opening it. She looked up into big brown eyes, and she _felt. _ Love. Then there was a scream, and the confused brown eyes were replaced by blazing blue. She saw the love in those blue eyes, and she loved him back.

She was huddled in a ball on the porch, hair and clothes matted in dirt. The same clothes she'd been buried in. Her hands, he knew those hands. He knew what had been done. Dawn stood stock still, paralyzed, staring.

"Dawn" His voice cracked. "Call the Magic Box. Tell them to get here."

Dawn moved backwards, reluctant to take her eyes off Buffy, to the kitchen. Spike moved down to his knees, in front of Buffy.

"Pet?" She looked up, with haunted, confused eyes. He reached out, a hand on her shoulder. She was so warm. Alive. He could have cried, but he had more important things to do.

"Can you stand?" She stood, cautiously. Spike slowly led her through the door, to the couch, as she stared around in wonder, taking everything in.

She spoke, "How long was I gone?"

"One hundred and forty eight days today. But today doesn't count, does it? How long was it where you were?"

"Longer."

Dawn appeared with a first aid kit. Apparently the girl had been more aware than Spike had realized. They sat Buffy down on the couch, Spike taking the kit and sitting on the table opposite of her, Dawn next to her on the couch. As Spike proceeded to fix her hands, Dawn put a hand on her sister protectively.

"It's okay Buffy. It'll all be okay now. You're home."

Buffy looked from Dawn to Spike. "What did you do to me?" Her voice was dead, other than the barest hint of malice.

Dawn stammered. "I…I didn't. Nothing. Spike, you didn't…?"

"No. No, I did not. But I know who did."

At that, the Scoobies burst through the door.


	4. Chapter 3

Spike spoke, looking at her with his fiery blue eyes, and she could hear the anger in his voice as the door burst open, people rushing in. Buffy heard her name many times; saw many familiar faces, all moving closer to her, asking questions. Willow, Xander, Anya, Tara. She remembered them. She saw Spike move, knew he wanted to leave, which made Buffy cry out as she threw herself into his arms. No, don't leave me, please. Immediately, he held her protectively, smoothing her hair.

Dawn yelled,"Quiet! And Spike, don't you dare leave." Back to the Scoobies "You did this?"

Buffy looked up, no one seeing the contempt in her eyes as Willow answered defiantly, "Yes. We did a spell." She was so proud of what she had done, it made Buffy sick.

"Why is she so dirty? And her hands?!" Dawn shouted at them, having already figured out the answer.

Finally, guilt flashed in their eyes. Xander spoke, "We, we didn't mean to. But we brought her back right where we left her. She had to claw her way out. Buffy," He looked at her. "We're so sorry." He moved to step forward, but Buffy put her hands up and Spike growled, "Bloody fucking morons! If you were that careless, think of what you could have done! Magic always has consequences."

This got a rise out of Willow. "She was in Hell! We couldn't leave her there…"

She was interrupted by a dark, humorless laugh from Buffy. "You ignorant, selfish little bitch!" She spat. "I was in heaven! After all these years of pain and fear and loss, I was happy. At peace. You dragged me back into Hell!" She screamed, before collapsing into Spike. He held her as Dawn, tears in her eyes, turned to Willow, Xander, Tara, and Anya.

"Leave."

And they left.


	5. Chapter 4

Dawn and Spike looked at each other, tears in their eyes, and they knew there was nothing to be said. Their hearts were breaking anew. Spike silently carried Buffy up the stairs, to her room, and set her on her bed. As he turned to leave, her eyes flew open, voice full of despair and longing, she pleaded, "Stay."

He stayed.

...

She was in the light.

It was quiet. The sun warmed her skin, and it smelled like warm apple pie. She heard her mother, healthy and happy.

She saw her sister, glowing and safe, protected. But then the world went cold and she was pulled from the light. Into the darkness. Into Hell.

Buffy awoke screaming, crying, calling. She didn't even register what she was crying out for. But Spike held her, smoothing her hair, "I'm here, its okay pet, I'm right here." She had been calling his name. His piercing blue eyes looked into her tear stained hazel ones. "Can you tell me about it?"

She knew what he was really asking about. "Not much to say. I was, well, resting. Finally, after all the pain and suffering, with mom and then Dawn…I was happy. Done. And no one's ever going to understand how it feels." She stopped, still looking into those endless blue eyes. "Except you." This creature, who she could barely stand before, and soulless evil vampire, meant _something_. No, not just something, much more than that. When she had been gone, no hope of returning, he continued to stay and protect Dawn. She could tell by Dawn's behavior towards them earlier that the Scoobies hadn't been there for her. The people that she had thought cared most, who she could really trust. And where was Giles? All she had wanted was for her sister to be happy and safe, to live. Spike really did love them. So now all Buffy cared about were this confusing vampire and her sister.

"God slayer, you need to know I love you. I love the Bit too, really." Buffy saw how tortured he was. He thought she still didn't believe him, after all he'd done.

"I know, Spike, and, I care about you now too. I think I could love you, if you give me time. All you've done, you had no reason to…" She trailed off when she saw how incredulous he looked, slack-jawed and everything.

"You…you don't really mean, I mean, you couldn't care for something like me…"

"Spike, I want to show you how much I care." When she moved to take off her shirt, Spike grasped her full meaning. He didn't hesitate.


End file.
